So let’s be real. You want to create something. Maybe it’s:::
- a business (doesn’t matter if it’s a side hustle or a 6-figure swagger)
- a new *real* fitness routine that will have you f i n a l l y reaching those goals!
- or really any new endeavor that improves your life in a BIG way!
But day after day passes and nothing changes because…well…s o m e t h i n g keeps holding you back! But you aren’t sure what that s o m e t h i n g is!?
The funny thing is that most all of us who are brave enough to initiate (not just dream about) climbing “Goal Mountain” find ourselves at some point in the climb sitting on the side of the trail wondering:
- Am I strong enough to really do this?
- Maybe this just isn’t for me…?
But you ARE strong enough and it’s time to stop questioning your ability and greatness! So let’s explore the FIVE most common ways us women get in our own freakin’ way AND the small, simple shifts to knock it off already!
#1: You’re trying to do it all (which will keep you small)
You can.not.do.it.all. You MUST multi-task and by that I mean you gotta hire out shiz OR prioritize and then shave the fat.
For your business: You need to hire out the things that you either A) kinda suck at or B) soak up the majority of your time without really adding to your bottom line income wise.
For your personal endeavors: Spend 2-3 days actually writing down HOW you spend your time. Then take a look and see where you can shave the fat:
- Where are you spending time doing something that is NOT in-line with your life priorities?
- Um, let’s just say that the season finale of The Bachelorette (the most dramatic one ever lol!) was 3 hours long. THREE HOURS. Which means people across the country spent 12% of their day staring at a box.
- If you don’t enjoy cooking and it soaks up your time, then research a healthy meal delivery service! Sure it may SEEM like a luxury (although depending on where you live, most are very affordable), but think what you could do with those extra 30-45 minutes!
- Are you spending longer amounts of time on activities that really could be done in half the time?
- Spend only 30 minutes a day on the phone with friends versus an hour
- Set up your grocery list on a delivery website and simply tweak it each week + have it delivered.
- And seriously…how much time are you truly spending on social media each day (watching Instagram Stories, scrolling Facebook, etc.)? What else could you be doing with that time that would bring you closer to your goals?!
#2: You prioritize everyone else
Do you find yourself saying YES to everyone else, only to have to say NO to yourself because your exhausted and run out of time? Then good news…you’re a lovely person and we CAN tweak this habit without turning into a meanie! 😉
So Gretchen Rubin refers to this personality as an “Obliger.” An Obliger can find time + reasons to do for others what they can’t do for themselves. So you say “yes” to attend that party that you really don’t want to go to while you let another day go by with no workout because you don’t have time.
I think those of us who are moms can REALLY struggle with this because we think to ourselves, “Selves…I can’t put myself above the needs of my children! What type of mom would do that?!”
But here is the truth –> I work with women every.darn.day who will tell you that the 50 lbs they are carrying around is BECAUSE they thought sacrificing self-care time for others was just the cost of parenthood. But once they started to implement even just 30 minutes of self-care a day, they were actually able to give more of themselves (with more energy + love + satisfaction!).
We can’t pour into others from an empty cup. So prioritize your self-care and self-development ladies! Everyone will be better off because of it.
#3: You have a case of “SelfDoubtItis”
Do any of these sound familiar to you?
- Sigh…I don’t have a degree or any special training…
- So many others are already doing it, I could never stand out or be successful…
- I have no idea where to even begin…
- Why would anyone want to work with me? I’m not really all that special…
So yeah…FEAR is at the root of all these common statements I hear from women every single day. And nothing kills dreams faster then flippin’ fear.
I’ve ABSOLUTELY been there. Gosh, I remember when I was in high school and I told my father excitedly that I had decided I wanted to become an attorney. My father, who is an attorney, replied with authority and zero hesitation: “Marion…you don’t want to be an attorney. There are already way too many lawyers and not enough jobs.”
I remember feeling deflated as I walked away from that conversation and it makes me sad to admit that I allowed FEAR (fear of never finding a job after law school) to prevent me from ever truly considering law as an option for me.
The funny thing is that my brother told my dad the same thing and my dad had much the same reply. But my brother’s response was “Well, I’m going to do it anyway!” And now he is a tax attorney for Amazon and LOVES his job.
So no…I’m not saying that I lay in bed regretting not becoming an attorney as I LOVE what I do and truly feel I was *meant* to do this. BUT I regret allowing the opinions of others to plant doubt + fear in the garden of my mind. I allowed fear to steer my ship…and where fear drives is never a place we want to go!
So HERE are just a few of my favorite personal development books to explore if you feel fear creeps in just a littttttllee too often. Change your mind –> change your life.
#4: You haven’t really made a decision yet…
So simple question. Have you:
A) Committed to TRY something until it gets too difficult OR
B) Truly made a DECISION to make “it” happen no matter what?
I’ll keep this one short because it’s very simple. Making a choice and trying something HOPING it works out is a completely different animal than making a decision. Think about your particular vision and ask yourself which one applies best to your state of mind.
#5: You only show up when you feel like it…
“I don’t feel like working out.”
“I tired and don’t want to stay up until 1:00am working on this webinar.”
“I want to go to the movies…I don’t want to learn about boring Facebook Ads.”
And these are just things I’ve said in the past 72 hours! LOL! #keepingitreal
But the REAL difference between successful people + unsuccessful people is simply this:
BOTH groups of people don’t feel like doing it…but successful people do it anyway. Successful people focus on the long-term benefits and vision while unsuccessful people are concerned with immediate gratification and the short term situation.
So honestly…did you see yourself in ANY of these five ways we stop ourselves??
My hope is that you identified with 1 or more and you are fired up to take action! Just start with one task + don’t overthink it + just go!!
You got this girl!