Well this past week felt like one giant non-stop moment! As I type this, I am officially now Marion Wagner…and I could not be happier!
Wait…let me reverse here for a hot second and rewind to the Summer of 2015. This is Cooper and I packing up our home in Portland, Oregon to move to Denver, Colorado to start our new life with Troy.
Want to know what’s weird? I was fine being alone…Cooper and I had a very full life together. My idea of a perfect evening is dinner with Cooper and then maybe after he goes to bed I open a bottle of Pinot and a book (or let’s be honest, watch “Magic Mike”) and kick back.
But underneath everything, I would feel loneliness. The thing is, I don’t think I could put a label on that feeling at the time because I’ve felt it for such a long time.
I remember one night (after a glass or two) I downloaded the app that my girlfriend told me I should try. I thought it was called “Timber” at first (gah…I’m such an Oregonian lol!).
But once I figured out the real name, I downloaded the app and looked skeptically at the faces of these dudes on Tinder. I think I swiped “no” to 100 guys in a row before I turned off my phone laughing because the whole thing felt ridiculous.
And because I didn’t want just any man. I’d rather be alone and living la vida loca with Cooper knowing we were safe and happy.
I never thought anyone would be the type of man for Cooper that he deserves. I never thought I would have a love like what my grandparents had (married 75+ years and in big-time lurve).
I didn’t feel worthy of that type of love.
That last sentence was a tough one to type.
Troy and I have been friends for 7 years and when he reached out to me to see if I was doing okay in Portland…my heart (which had been hell bent on protecting itself for good reason) began to feel warmth. I slowly began to break down my self-limiting beliefs of my own worthiness…
And now fast forward to TODAY…and this is our little family!
Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!
As always, thank you so much for reading and happy weekend friends!